No-Sign: Sneaker Financing AFFIRMS That Your Priorities Are All Wrong

No-Sign: Sneaker Financing AFFIRMS That Your Priorities Are All Wrong

No-Sign is a regular feature that gives an in depth opinion on whatever deserves a proper verbal beatdown.  Basically, instead of earning a highly esteemed Co-Sign, it’s about to catch fade on a No-Sign.  In this edition, the concept of getting financing for sneakers gets a fat No-Sign.

Fuccbois the whole world over rejoiced like it was the rebirth of Christ Yeezus last week, as news broke of sneaker consignment outfit, Flight Club, began offering financing for sneakers through the Affirm program. So, not only will these kids be ridiculed for using bots and camping out for shoes, all in their on-going love affair with Kanye cosplay – now they can also catch fade for paying a car note’s worth a month FOR A GODDAMN PAIR OF SHOES.

Ok, deep breath. Still trying to wrap my head around the fuckery of that last sentence that I just typed.

I mean, kudos to Flight Club for keying in on the conglomerate of hypebeasts that are willing to get bent and reamed all in the name of trying to impress people who they think actually care. But when we’ve gotten to the point in this supposedly counter-culture of street fashion where individuals are willing to finance a pair of shoes that initially costs around twenty bucks to manufacture, then the bloodguilt falls on those same kids for killing said culture.

At the heart of it, I really feel bad for you if you’re financing a pair of sneakers before using it on actual necessities like a form of transportation or a roof over your head. Priorities fall by the wayside for these fools, all in the name of swag, and its such a goddamn shame, really.

This reminds me of when cats were getting financing for spinners and rims. What’s next, rent-a-grail services that charge by the day? We’ve truly hit some type of low when kids are willing to wreck their credit on some shoes. Imagine getting your joints repoed right from under your feet just because you defaulted on some Yeezys. S…M…H.

It really should not be that serious to the point where you’re putting your FICO on the line for some J’s. Stop it. You can’t afford the shoes. Deal with that and you’ll thank yourself down the line after you’ve been approved for a new whip or are handed the keys to your new place.

However, if you’re of the (hopefully) small percentage that are still leaning towards getting financing for some kicks, I have a better alternative: just give me your money and I’ll smack you upside ya head every day for a year. Interest free.

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Richard "Reach" Guinto

Reach loves the Lakers, breakfast, the sound of a Fender Rhodes, and rapping along word for word to Wu Tang's "Triumph." If you're looking for him, he's probably out getting chicken.

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